happiness

 happiness

When looking for things to cut, some prime

areas are meetings, web surfing, email, and

television. These four activities are huge time

wasters for many people. A more systematic

approach is what I call the to-quit list. If you’re

like most people, you probably have a long list

of things you’re supposed to do, either in your

head, on a piece of paper, in a computer file,

or on a flurry of Post-It notes stuck

everywhere. Gather the whole list together in

one place and give it a good, hard look. How

many of those things give you a feeling of

dread or aversion when you think about them?

Start a new list called your “to-quit list” and

put all those things on it.

Of course, if you quit everything on the list

right now, there will probably be some pretty

bad consequences. It’s tempting to say “I can’t

just quit my job!” or “I can’t quit the X

committee—the whole thing would fall apart!”

But the fact is, it’s not a matter of “can’t.”

What if you were in an accident that landed

you in the hospital for a month, and you

couldn’t do anything? You wouldn’t be doing

any of the things on your to-do list, yet the

world would not end. Someone else would take

care of the crucial things. Some important

things might not get done, and a lot of

unimportant things wouldn’t get done, but the

world would keep turning and you wouldn’t die,

at least not from missing a meeting or failing

to wax your car.

The reality is that you can quit anything you

want. If you stick with something, it’s because

you see some value in it, you don’t want to

deal with the consequences of quitting, or you

just haven’t thought it through. For example,

many people hate their jobs and think they

can’t quit. The fact is, you can quit your job...

but then you’ll have to find another source of

income and/or find a way to need far less

money. Another option is to keep your job but

see if you can negotiate an alternate work

schedule to free up some time for yourself. If

you can work from home some days, you can

save the time you would have spent

commuting. Another possibility is working less

than full-time. I‘ve cut back to 80% of full-time

at my job, and it’s amazing how great it is

having those eight hours of my life back each

week! If you really hate your job, though, work

on getting a new job or a new source of

income to replace it. Life is too short to waste

so much of it being miserable.

Similarly, if you find that your relationship with

a certain person is a big source of dread or

angst, ask yourself why you are in this

relationship. What are you getting out of it? Is

there a way to change it so that you can be

happy in it? If not, quit! For as difficult or ugly

as it may be in the short term, in the long

term, you both deserve to be with people who

can facilitate your happiness.

Those are the two biggies; compared to work

and relationships, quitting a boring club or an

officer position in a group is a piece of cake!

These things can be hard, too, but put them in

perspective: if you moved away or were

stricken with serious medical problems,

someone else would take over the tasks you

do. If these tasks aren’t bringing your joy or

meaning, they’re taking away from something

more important you could be doing. I’m not

saying you need to be rude or leave people in

the lurch, but give them notice, offer to train

your successor, and move on.

As you work on your to-quit list, it’s also

important to keep new things from getting

added to it. Saying no can be hard, but it‘s a

lot easier than quitting later! When people ask

you to take on new responsibilities, make “no”

your default answer. If you really enjoy doing

something or it contributes to your most

important values, you can always change to a

“yes” later.