Marriage
and
Family:
to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is head of
the
wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior
of the
body. Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let
the wives
be to their own husbands in everything”
Mutual
submission in love
Not understanding the beautiful context and loving leadership
these
instructions are built on, some wives have refused to say that
they will
submit to their husbands. Sometimes men and women alike have
mistakenly assumed these instructions were sexist and demeaning to women.
But in the context of Paul’s explanation, this instruction is
most respectful
of both sexes and represents an important key for happy
marriages.
Husbands and wives
who are continually
fighting each other over
authority and control
experience a level of
conflict and misery that
often leads to divorce.
Husbands and wives
who fully and mutually
submit themselves to the
pattern Paul reveals usually find happiness and
peace.
When genuine love and respect prevail in a marriage, the husband
and wife learn much from each other. Each brings strengths into
the
relationship. For example, wives often excel in
relationship-related needs.
Husbands often have a strong orientation toward problem solving.
Husbands and wives who become aware early in their marriage that
each brings strengths to some aspects of their relationship and
discuss
how they together can use those strengths to their mutual
advantage gain
the most from His instructions.
But mates who “beat each other over the head” with scriptures
intended to benefit
their relationship miss the point. Some abusive husbands, with
little or no respect for their wives’ feelings or contributions,
will command them to submit, and some hotheaded wives retort
that
they’ll submit only when their husbands start acting the way
they should.
The key here is that each person must do his or her part.
Each must apply the instruction given him or her. Although
individuals can positively influence their mates by their unilateral actions,
it
is far better when both the husband and wife accept and live by
God’s
instructions for their respective roles in marriage.
As one might expect, God’s instructions for marriage have proven
to be the best way to experience peace and happiness.
Studies show that couples who do not live together before
marriage
handle conflict more easily, communicate better and are less
likely to
divorce. They also show that a majority of men and women (60
percent)
believe that the sexual relationship is more satisfying within
the marriage
union.
Considering known statistics (for example, that one of every
four Americans will contract a sexually transmitted disease, a disorder
preventable by practicing godly guidelines), it becomes obvious that God’s
teachings are superior to anything devised by man. God’s way
protects
us and offers us the greatest opportunity for happiness.
Marriage is one of God’s most wonderful gifts to mankind. It is
a
treasure worth working on, cherishing and sustaining. His
instructions
are as valid today as ever. To follow them is to make the
honorable,
godly choice. No shame comes from following God’s
instructions—only
beneficial and lasting rewards. In the next two chapters we’ll
see what
these principles look like in dating and marriage.
Marriage is one of God’s most wonderful gifts. It is a
treasure worth working on. No shame comes from following
God’s instructions
for our children and best for society, Paul said people would
focus on
their own perceived needs and wants.
Economic needs are commonly cited as the reason children are
placed
in day care facilities. The reality, however, is that many times
most of
the money earned ends up being spent on the day care itself and
eating
out because no one has been at home to prepare a meal.
Even though true financial gains can sometimes be obtained, a
commendable number of parents have now given their children’s
needs
the highest priority and are choosing a lower standard of living
so they
can have a higher standard of family. While some mothers remain
at
home with their children to accomplish this, others are finding
work
when their husband is at home with the children or doing work
that can
be done from home.
The suffering being experienced by so many today is reversible.
We and our children do not have to be victims. Being a good
parent
means putting our children’s needs ahead of our own desires. If
you
have
children, why not give them what they want and need—a positive,
encouraging home where they are taught God’s standards by both
of
their biological parents living together in peace?
In the next chapter, we’ll consider how parents can effectively
teach
their children God’s timeless truths.
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