idea of the way

 People and things should conform to your

idea of the way the world should work. If they

don’t, they’re wrong and bad.

We all have ideas for better ways to run the

world—how it should be. But the fact is, we

don’t live in the world of “should,” we live in

the world of “is.” People drive like idiots or

maniacs, they leave their shopping carts

blocking the aisle, they litter, they misspell

words. You may be able to educate them, but

it’s unlikely you’ll change them. You can only

change yourself.

Any time you catch yourself saying “should,”

notice it. You’re wasting energy. No matter how

you think things should be, they’re not that

way, and getting upset about it will not help.

Instead, deal with life as it really is.

 If something goes wrong, it’s somebody’s

fault. You better make sure it’s not yours.

Things go wrong all the time, and finding

someone to blame doesn’t fix anything. Even if

a particular person is clearly responsible for

causing the situation, blaming them is unlikely

to help. It may make you feel better in the

short term, but it hurts the relationship in the

long term. (Nobody likes having their nose

rubbed in their failings or hearing “I told you

so.”) Instead, focus on a solution